About 3 years ago I saw something on Facebook about instead making new year resolutions pick a word to focus on for the year and I thought that is great I never can keep the resolutions anyway so maybe I can focus on 1 part of my life and make it better for the year so that year I thought about Consistently or Commit since I can't keep a resolution maybe if focus on committing to something and consistently doing it my resolutions would actually happen this year. Well I wrestle with that and couldn't commit to it ☺ but the word Pray kept coming up and my prayer life was not the best so I decided (well God did I just didn't know it) that my focus for 2015 would be Pray as in Rejoice always, Pray Continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 NIV This is where I learn it was God who choose my word cause this is my verse that I try my best to live by but I pray when I need to and don't you dare to ask me to pray out loud but it says here to Pray Continually... I had friends going through some difficult things that year I had things, my family did about everybody around me did and I learn that year I can't fix anything but God sure can I just have to Pray. My prayer life 2 years later is my sweet time to talk to my closest friend and my father and to the one who is in control of everything. I actually now will pray out loud may sound like a mumbling dork but God knows my heart and my prayers..
In 2016 it was very clear that word for this year will be Joy now I know around Christmas you see the word Joy everywhere but I honestly didn't notice it until this year but God place it in places that were not of Christmas and He laid it on my heart. I struggle at first cause nobody can be a happy person 365 days 24/7 so I didn't happiness to be my focus but I wanted my focus to be on Joy of the Lord , my Salvation and finding Joy in all things. Same verse above but in the Message Be cheerful no matter what; pray all the time; thank God no matter what happens. This is the way God wants you who belong to Christ Jesus to live. Well we got prayer going and now lets start having Joy this is going to be a great year.. WRONG!! Under the smile it was a dark year I felt my life falling apart and I just was not the most Joyful person.. There are unanswer things about my birth, there are things I don't understand, I have been hurt, I have been broken down, I have been left out, I don't feel I have a place or a person, the devil was having the time of his life with my brain and I run and stay busy so not to fall so far in the pit.. My mother had stage 4 lung cancer she was found out in September and I went to visit her and the doctor came in and ask her how she was and she said I am doing good I have my 3 daughters here and my sisters but that was just a little chisel off the brick wall. I kept in touch with my sisters to see how she was doing, called her a couple of times but I continue to run. Weeks before she died my sisters were her care takers and all I wanted to do was to help but I was so emotionally withdrawn from her that I didn't think I could do it so I did what I know best I stay busy and I pray her and pray for my daddy cause they have been together for 59 years and pray for my sisters and their families and pray her (our) family that was about to loose another sibling and I pray for myself. I was able to see her in the last week on Thursday I drop everything to go and spend the day at her house and took her an apple pie (you know us Baptist women believe food makes everything good) she knew I was there, she sat up in the bed and ate some she could barely talk but the look in her eyes I felt like I saw sorrow, regret and forgiveness and I felt a peace I never knew before. Sunday she died and I was in a daze cause I still had hope our relationship might one day be restore that I would get answers, I would have a place and I would have that mother that a lot of my friends have and my kids would have a grandmother. The service was beautiful and my cousin Andy spoke the words my heart needed to hear (would love to have the recording of it) but during this time of sorrow there was joy in my life I was with my family that part is being restore, I have peace cause I am letting go of all the damage and focusing on the good things instead. She is heal physically but also emotionally, mentally too she has found her true joy with our Father. I realize that 2016 was truly my year of Joy it may came in December but I am late for everything so it is understandable. Here is Kay Warren definition of Joy- Joy is the settled assurance that God is in control of all the details of my life, the quiet confidence that ultimately everything is going to be alright, and the determined choice to praise God in every situation. Sorrow and Joy run together some days are wonderful but others are not so while you’re experiencing something painful, there’s the glorious realization that there is still beauty and loveliness to be found. They’re inseparable.
So for 2017 God laid on my heart and I heard him that this year word is Still as in Be still before the Lord.. Know that the LORD, he is God! It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture. Psalm 100:3 I Google verse on Be Still and this came up but I wanted to read the rest
Shout joyfully to the LORD, all the earth.
Serve the LORD with gladness;
Come before Him with joyful singing.
Come before Him with joyful singing.
Know that the LORD Himself is God;
It is He who has made us, and not we ourselves;
We are His people and the sheep of His pasture.
It is He who has made us, and not we ourselves;
We are His people and the sheep of His pasture.
Enter His gates with thanksgiving
And His courts with praise.
Give thanks to Him, bless His name.
And His courts with praise.
Give thanks to Him, bless His name.
For the LORD is good;
His loving-kindness is everlasting
And His faithfulness to all generations
Whew.. that is my verse to memorize for this year.. I see God hand so much in my life for the last 2 years that blinders have been lifted... I have a place in His kingdom, His love is everlasting, I am His He created me I will sit still before him and will praise Him for all He has done in my life.. I pray that 2017 is a better year, I give thanks for all He has done in my life and I have a joy in Him...His loving-kindness is everlasting
And His faithfulness to all generations
On a little side note I went to Winter Nights at First North Friday night and I thought of all day I don't want to go I need to work, I am tired, even though friends were going I was going alone but something in my soul wouldn't let me back out.. Well God wouldn't let me :).. I went and I will tell you he show out and bless me so much for going and not letting Satan win.. Donna Ward gives out love notes and mine this year spoke so much to me. I am waiting for your step of faith. Just one step into the water, I have already set things in motion that will guarantee your success. What are you waiting for? You do trust me, don't you? I am the Lord your God and I will do this . Step Out! Joshua 3:1-17
Then her message was from Nehemiah How Am I doing?
We are free but we live captive lives.
We need to hear God knock on our hearts and he must certainly has been doing that to me I just haven't been opening the door all the way.
We live in holy confusion where it hurts but He is God
We get knock down so much we loose hope
Sometimes God allows us to be wreck to the uttermost so He can rescues us in the most uttermost. WOW fast forward to the end of the night I was wreck like I have never been before.. .
When God is silence go to His word He will speak to you (me). Get into the habit of running to Him and not away..
The damages that have been done to you, the unanswer, the never understandings they are ok cause God is God, God is sovereign, He is eternal, and from Pastor DJ today He knows all things and Control things.
My break group was with Michelle Johnson and it was on Waiting
She in herself was awesome and I loved hearing her speak she is powerful or I would say She got some spirit in her...
Highlights from her, prayer is the most powerful thing we have, suit up each day in our Armor cause the enemy is real, God is faithful, trustful, Go to His word and remember His promises. We will see God glory on the backside, He works together all things for the good, In the wait worship Him, pray on our knees, and go to His word
Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord Psalm 27:14
Her song was Waiting Here For You by Christy Nockels
Donna played Toby Mac When Love Broke Thru and Love Feels like
One song I remember of the band was Love On the Line by Hillsong
God is Love :)
I am being still and not running this year!
.
