Teenagers

I have been reading everybody Lesson's From Mommyhood" and they are all sweet and I really wish I had done something like that when mine were little. But I have always said joking I need to do one a teenagers view... Don't get me wrong I do have some great boys and I am really bless they are healthy and they are not into drugs, drinking, I know where they are for the most part. They go to church without me pushing them to go and they love to go. They have given their life over to our Lord and Savior and can tell me about the bible. Yes, they are really good boys especially for other people but...................

With one you get laziness, yes all 16 yr old can be lazy but this is beyond laziness. When he is at home he rather play on the playstation or lay in his bed and watch tv. When you do get him to do some kind of activity you hear the complaining constantly that he is tired and his legs hurts. We ask him to do chores, yeah is that not just terrible I make my kids do chores how hateful can I be... but anyway when we ask him to do something he huffs, stomps and makes those sigh comments under his breath (yes, I use to do this too but not about chores that was a must in my house).. Now, you could call him up to do something and we would be right there to help you. He is a very smart, very talented and he learns things quick but our battle is to get him to apply himself and put an effort towards things. He could be an all A's & B's student but he rather not do homework and just pass w/ the test grades and some classwork to makes B or a C which is still good but if you can make an A it is really not that good. He is very self center just like most kids but his goes to the point that he doesn't put an effort toward reaching out to other people he just waits for you to come to him and he once you do he is the friend that always waits for you to come around... Now, I have been told I am to hard on him and yes I do agree with that at times but like this battle we are doing now...We bought him a car last year for his 16th b'day. He had always said he wanted a Mustang or a Honda Civic well I wast not getting Mustang for his first car and I really wanted him to have a truck or suv but at the last minute on the day we were out looking we found him a 96 Honda Civic that seem to be in good condition and we were for sure he would love it beside it was a stick shift so we took the money Eric and been saving up for a truck and we bought it straight out so I wouldn't have to make a car payment. Oh course when he got it there were things wrong w/ it that he pointed out.. color, wheels don't match, radio doesn't work, has a dent on the hood and he wanted some kind of light kit for it.. oh well at least it is not a 68 bug all orange inside and out w/ no place for a radio, runs only have the time and has a piece of plywood in the back floor board covering up the big hole.. yep my first car but it was a fun and memorable car..lol.. anyway, month after school started and he has had his restricted license he got pulled over going to FCA (oh all things) on morning for speeding and that ticket was $185 which he paid and took 4 points. Yes we continue to let him drive, I do pray everyday that he learn his lesson... Anyway, about a month ago the car broke down and we placed the transmissions, the clutch and rear oil seal so the money Eric had saved up again went back into Ryan's car to fix so he is still driving the brown truck that really needs to retire.. I know as parents these are our responsibility but I am also trying to teach him the value of the dollar and some responsibility. He had a job up until last Friday and he got fired for having his phone out again 4th time so the spending and gas money is not there anymore. We have told him ALL week he needed to put an effort into getting a job. 1st day excuse all the places were close and no gas but still had gas to drive to a friends house, bk back to the friends out and to another one and home by the way we live in the center of everything in westside, 2nd day everybody but 1 was on-line, 3rd I do remember I think he said he didn't have time and he forgot (spring break only 1-3 is he doing something) he did go finally after having to be force to went to 2 places, 4th day I have totally forgot what the excuse was and then finally on the last day he went to 3 places got applications, forgot to get one at another and another was online.. Now today he still has those apps here they are filled out but not turn in. My child is the one that wants the fun job and is to good for the first job for teenagers. Heck, I want a fun job too where I start at the top but I haven't found it yet. He wanted to go to Denny's to meet some friends and had no money and ask me for nope, is my answer gave him $20 Sunday and he spent it on 1 meal not getting anymore and he also got his last check and it is gone He does have an interview Monday so hopefully he will get his spending and gas money back... We pay his phone, his insurance so he can at least handle those too and we do help him w/ gas since he hauls the other around and Eric drives his car. Like I said he is a good kid and I love it when he people complaint me about him and my heart is bless and tears to come to my eyes when I see him up there on Wednesday with the youth and Sunday with the adults playing his heart out and singing for the Lord. By the way, the guitar was one of the things he picked up quickly and he does put the effort into it.

Now the other one he is just my rollercoaster kid..You are lovin life with him one week and then you hit that big dip and you are ready to loose your insanity... He is a sweet, funny, cute kid but he also likes to be the class clown, wants to see how far he can push you, calls you names but not in a mean cruel way just in a joking way but never knows when to turn it off.. He has always been momma's boy and I have spoiled him for so long cause we was only 2 when me and his daddy split, he has had a busted lip, almost got hit by a car can honestly say that was a day that I knew God was with us it could have been bad, he had a terrible first year of school due to a teacher (no I am not taking up for my kid even his 1st grade teacher told us this and other people, he had a teacher that best friend didn't care for me so she took it out on my son), he has a speak problem so I have always let things go with him when I told I should have been consistent on sticking to my punishments. Our battle with him is getting him out of middle school, I get a call or email weekly from one teacher about his behavior taking out in class, getting up and walking around when he shouldn't, not doing his work. He is making a high C in this class cause he pass the test but doesn't do the work. First she had him a lower math level for next year, I over rode that and wanted him to go up to the next level, then last week she told me he believes he needs to be in a higher level of math. The kid is bored in class and he is disturbing the rest of the class in the process so that is the reason for the emails and phone calls constantly. The other 3 teachers 1 has only email in the past 6 months cause of his grades (he doesn't like science but wants to be a rectional therapist go figure), one I have never heard from and the other was a call to tell me how proud of him she was she gave them so many books to read in a time and he had triple that amount. Yes, he LOVES to read and actually gets books taken away from him class cause he is reading instead of doing the work. This week has been good cause of spring break and I am hoping the rest of the year we will be riding up hill on that rollercoaster cause we had hit the BIG dip that takes your breath away, don't think I can do that again..He too is a great kid beside wearing the same socks almost everyday until I gag and make him wash them, he has to be force to take a shower, change clothes and brush his teeth. Don't laugh or gag cause one day you too will be doing this with your teenage boy almost all my friends with boys the same age are dealing with this problem. At least Ryan does shower daily. Stephen is the kid that tells me I am pretty, he loves me, hugs me, when I am sick he takes care of me, he helps me with Tyler, he doesn't back talk the chores heck he does the trash without you asking him too.. Just got to get him serious about school and also control the mouth..

Now, are you looking forward to teenagers??? All I want for is that boys are look at with respect, kindness, compassion that people see the love of the Lord in them. I want for them happiness, for them to succeed in life more than I ever have. I want the to have the things I didn't have (not material things). I want them when they have a family to be able to support there family and not have the heartaches I have endure. I have seen the life of the given of gifts, the life of where is our next meal coming from to the life of just getting by and I don't want my boys to every have to live like that again. I want them to be what they want to be, I want them to be hard workers and share their talents with others. So, I fuss and I am hard on them cause I want better for them. I do get frustrated cause some things are simple as 1,2,3 if you get in trouble for this you shouldn't do it again, if you are making bad grade just cause you don't do homework or class work then do it, and what you give to others is what you will get in return. They are good boys just typical teenagers and I am trying my best to figure this all out. A friend told me once that you are doing a good job when your child tells you they hate you and they want to move out so I guess I am doing something right, hate me now, love me later..I didn't have a real mom figure to go by so I am relaying on God, prayers and friends to get me through these years... By the time Tyler hits them maybe I will be better prepare..