Tongue in Cheek- Avoiding Gossip

Here is my devotation today from www.christianwomentoday.com.. I am just as gulity and this step all over my feet... It talks about work but it is for everything I believe...

A co-worker recently crept into my office. Judging by the look on her face, and the way she quickly and quietly closed my door, I knew she was about to gossip. She proceeded to tell me very unsavory details about someone I admired and respected. She was not sure if it was true, but she assured me that she received the information from a very reliable source, so how could it be wrong?
I must confess I had enjoyed the “juiciness” of the scoop she was giving me, right up until the point when she started sharing the information that was just so damaging to the image I had of this well-respected person. I suppose I should have changed the subject when it turned sour, but instead, I let her continue, my eyes growing as big as saucers as I took in each morsel of gossip.While her talk had enticed me to listen to the whole story, regretfully, I am now faced with some very negative images of one of my mentors engaged in unseemly conduct, an affair no less.

Most gossip would appear to be harmless, and doesn’t carry the same repercussions as the above scenario. Our culture tends to treat gossip lightly. While most people think it is a bad habit, gossip is a generally accepted pastime that people share in when they congregate around the lunch table, or the water cooler. We may innocently “dish,” “get the goods,” or hear the “dirt,” on someone, but God doesn’t take the whole matter so lightly. He says that our tongues are set on fire by hell (James 3:6).
God is not pleased when we gossip in the workplace, and neither is your employer. According to Human Resources Specialist, Cassie Dibiase, who owns Resources and Results Consulting in Houston, Texas, “Listening or contributing to gossip in the workplace is probably the single most destructive behavior for anyone hoping to succeed in the business world.”
Key points
Gossipers in the workplace are viewed as untrustworthy and are less likely to receive promotions or key assignments
Important lines of communication between employees and supervisors are often disrupted because of a lack of trust created by gossip
What might appear to be simple gossip can often result in a full-blown investigation, causing irreparable damage to an individual’s reputation, and to the gossiper’s reputation as well.
What are some ways to avoid getting caught in the snare of gossip?

Know if it is gossip
The dictionary defines gossip as rumor or talk of a personal, sensational, or intimate nature. To know if you’re gossiping, a good rule of thumb is to ask yourself how you would feel if the person you were discussing suddenly happened upon your conversation. Would you be embarrassed? Chances are, as a Christian, you know when you are gossiping. You get that unsettled feeling from the Holy Spirit that maybe what you’re discussing isn’t quite appropriate.

God’s view of gossip
Not only does the Holy Spirit convict us, but God commands us through scripture not to gossip. Proverbs 4:24 reminds us to “keep corrupt talk from our lips.” God doesn’t want us listening to gossip either. Hearing the gossip is about as bad as spreading it, since you can’t erase the negative words you’ve heard about a person. Proverbs 26:22 says, “The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a man’s inmost parts.”
The Philippians 4:8 principle
To help us remember what is and isn’t acceptable to discuss, use Philippians 4:8 as a guide: “Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.” While the writer, Paul, instructs us to think about these things, it seems to me that Philippians 4:8 is a good way to measure our conversations too.

Gossip just plain hurts
Simply put, gossip hurts people. When my dearest friend and co-worker went through a divorce a few years ago, many of our colleagues came to me looking for information. My friend was so devastated and shocked over the divorce, that to discuss her hurt and raw emotions with anyone seemed unthinkable. Furthermore, I ran the risk of seeing mixed rumors circulate about my friend. Ms. Dibiase points out, “Just think back to the playground… when someone spread untrue tales around the schoolyard. They were hurtful, unproductive and damaged friendships. Playground rules still apply. The only difference is professional reputations are taken more seriously – the stakes are higher.”
Setting parameters in your conversations
Melissa and her friend Monique are close confidants. As Christians, they were both worried about crossing the line of gossip in their daily conversations. They came up with a way of setting “parameters” in their conversations. When their speech began to tread into gossip territory, one gently reminded the other that they needed to steer their conversation to a more edifying topic. Surrounding yourself with close friends who are Christians and like-minded in spirit always helps keep gossip in check.

Steering the conversation
While maintaining ties with fellow believers is a helpful way of keeping our tongues in check, we don’t always share office space with other Christians. How do you keep gossip under control when you are with people who aren’t necessarily focused on guarding their talk? While my first impulse is to stay away from situations that would put me in the middle of gossip, I am reminded that Jesus himself broke bread with non-believers and those who gossiped, among other things.
When gossip begins around you, try to cut it off with a gentle remark to sway the conversation. Or, better still, turn to your gossiping co-worker and ask her about what’s happening in her life. It has been said that a gossip is one who talks to you about others; a bore is one who talks to you about herself; and a brilliant conversationalist is one who talks to you about yourself. It’s an almost guaranteed way to change the conversation.
After you read this article, you’ll probably try harder to avoid gossip, but since we are only human, you might still have to catch yourself every now and then. As my friend Melissa puts it, “Gossiping is something we always have to keep in check with the Lord.” Why not pray this simple prayer in faith today and release the control of your speech back into God’s hands.

Dear Father, I need You. I acknowledge that I have sinned against You by directing my own life and accommodating gossip and other conversations that are hurtful to others and not glorifying to You. But I thank You that You have forgiven my sins through Christ’s death on the cross for me. I now invite Christ to again take His place on the throne of my life. Fill me with the Holy Spirit as You commanded me to be filled, and as You promised in Your Word that You would do if I asked in faith. I pray this in the name of Jesus. As an expression of my faith, I thank You for directing my life and for filling me with the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Good Book

I just got done ready The Shack and let me tell ya it was wonderful.. If you have not read this book yet do so... If you have read it leave me your comments on it.. I don't want to go into details about it I will say I read the back of it when it first came out and I was like nah, don't sound good to me, everybody was telling me how get it was and I was nah we don't have the same reading taste and then Sherry use a part of the chapter when he goes back to the shack and she got me so interested in that I had to go and get the book... All I can tell ya is that oh how I would love to experience going to the "shack", how do you get to that point?? It is a wonderful book and also if you have a hard time understanding the trinity well I understand it a little more now... You can check out the website at www.theshackbook.com.

Worth the read, got a book let me know..

Stephen's B'day

The weekend of 9/22/08

My middle child and last b'day of the year was on Monday 9/22/08 but we halfway celebrated it the weekend before. Eric was in AL helping with some remodeling at our pastor dad's church while I was at home with the kids and doing all the taxi driving. Stephen is my hard child to buy for and the only thing he wanted was a phone so Friday night we took off to Verizon to check out the phones but we had to do it quickly cause he wanted to go to the Dorman game that night and I had a dear friend and her daughter with me so we could out to dinner after we drop him off, well if you know anything about Verizon there ain't nothing quick so I had to leave the salesman and promise to go back the next day... Stephen went to the game and had fun w/ his friends just what he wanted to do. Tyler and I went to eat dinner and hung out w/ Melissa and Emily Claire just as I wanted to do. So Saturday morning we took off back to Verizon to get him a phone and to sign up for the internet needless to say even though we had the best help (see Chris when you go to Verizon) we were there half a day and I still had to go and get a b'day gift and take Tyler to a party and be back home to meet some ladies for dinner and movie. So, needless to say I was running around like a chicken with my head cut-off all day... But my child got his phone and thinks it is the best thing in the world now. Now, I know some people are saying 14 is to young for a phone and all that stuff but we are one of those families that do not have a home phone so he needed it. I have to say he has come out to be a little socializer (don't think it is really a word) since he got the phone. For his actual b'day we took him to his favorite resturant (and one of my least favorite) Golden Corral and we got him tickets to go see TobyMac and Family Force 5 in November w/ some friends, of course my arm had to be twisted to take them (NOT, I can't wait either) so I will post about his actual celebrating b'day next month... Stephen is my loveable, why you so nosey, reading, funny (he has a knack about making Eric laugh which is hard) and smart child. He has been such a blessing in the past 14 yrs and so have the other boys but I have to say he is the true mama boy but in a good way.... Here are a few pics of him in action...

Beach Retreat out on the basketball court doing yoga, it was one that you had to be there forHaving spa time at schoolJust his cute self at my sister

Ryan's 16th

9/10/08 and 9/13/08

So, my oldest has turn 16 and boy did he think that we were not going to do anything for him. I had told him all along that he got his car and phone durning the summer so that was it (well in presents it was) but I couldn't let his special age go by without anything... We did for his b'day go to Fugi w/ almost all the youth kids that were there that Wednesday night and we told him that it was all he was getting. But, I have been thinking of this every since July and have kept it from him every since then too (see I can hold secrets). Ryan turn 16 on Sept 10th and a very good friend of his Hannah Hammett turn 16 on Sept 16 so I had told her about my plans when we went to Powerplant this summer and she made a comment that she to would like a surprise party so without her knowing I contacted her mom to see if she wanted to go in with me and do it and she did. Then another friend of theirs and neighbor and fellow church buddy Griffen he was turning 16 on the same day as Hannanh so the Susan's (both other moms are Susan) went in together and gave the 3 of the surprise b'day party over at the Hammetts on the 13th... Now, Hannah is a true women already that chick figure it out before the party which I really did hate but then again she was able to get with Ryan and with the help of Griffen sister Hannah and have them all come back to the Hammett's all at the same time... The party was truly great we had swimming, karaoke, pizza, chips, music, cake and some even a cake fight...I want to thank the Hammett's to opening their home to all us...

Blowing the candles out

Cake

Cake fight

Swimming

Hannah and the b'day girl singing for us

The Lawson clan (Ryan's 2nd family) and friends

Now, one true surprise for the weekend.... My sister's came to the party too and that was the first one that one had been to since Ryan was probably 3 and the first one that the other had ever been too.. If you know anything about me you know that I had a period in my life where the only family I had was under my roof and that was it... My sister's are wonderful and I love them dearly but when you have a demanding family member you sometimes just let things be to save peace and also one sister had been living all over the US and in Canada for a long time. This past Christmas we all meet up again and ever since then we have become a family again. Ryan being Ryan and can be so sensitive just having his aunts and cousin there was truly more than he would ever ask for.. Thank you Lisa and Steph for driving from GA and you Lynn from driving from Ft. Inn to come and make his day so much more special...

Ryan and his 2 aunts (on each end) and Allyson mom

Ryan, his cousin Stephanie and precious Garrett

Me and sister's Lynn in pink and Lisa yellow...

The last surprise for him... Ryan went to his cousin Stephanie wedding in March and meet her new sister in law Allyson ever since then they have been texting and meeting up when all possible at least once a month (she lives in Augusta, GA also) so her and her mom came down for the party and spent the night in a near by hotel and they went to church together Sunday, lunch and hung out the whole day.. He knew they were coming down but he had no idea that they were spending the night and he got to see her a whole another day.. At this point they are still just friends (later post on that) but she is a very special girl to him and to us... Funny how God works things out, remember we had not seen or really talked to my sisters and nieces until December and Ryan was more than happy to ride to GA with me the first of March for the wedding and you never know he might have met his bride there, I know that it is waaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy to early but it is something I wonder about sometimes.. Thank you Dorthy and Allyson for making Ryan's b'day a great one...

Ryan and Allyson at his party

One more b'day to go!!!!!!!!!! Will finish catching up hopefully this weekend, I have Stephen b'day somewhat and our youth retreat... Until next time..............................

Loving Well Retreat

9/5-9/6
We hosted a weekend women's retreat at our church the first weekend in September and we did the retreat in a box by Beth Moore entitled Loving Well and boy was it good...Our very own Karen Bishop led the event and did such a wonderful job of sharing her life w/ us and sharing what God says about us loving each other... Beth narrow it down to these types of people in our life...

Joy- this is the person in your life that you truly just enjoy to be around.
Testy- you know that is just the person that actually just gets on your last nerve and you want to explode on them sometimes.
Foe- this is the person you can not stand at all, they have cross that line.
Far- this is the stranger you might see

With all of these people we are called to love each and every one of them just as Jesus loves us, that is the greatest and first commandment to love each other..

I looked at this list and I truly try to decided if I had a name for each one and I was so happy that I had so many Joy's in my life, now I am different before testy becomes a foe I just walk away from that relationship until I have calm down and had a break from that person and then I go back to where they are the joy/testy in my life... But it also made me think since I truly do not have really any names that were testy or foe ( it stay on hand) could I be somebody testy or foe person??? My goodness that really hit me cause I don't believe I am to many joy, so since them I have really try to treat everybody with a loving nature so maybe I can become more of a joy than a testy. Is that far person are they seeing Jesus in us? Are we taking time to say hello and just give a smile? To summarize what I learned that weekend and if you want more let me know and I will share cause I am such note taker but to summarize it we are to love each other as Jesus loves us and we are to forgive each other as we are forgiven.. pretty simple uh??? I pray everyday to be more like Jesus and love those around me, it is a struggle but with His guidance I will get there one day...

I want to say also a big thank you to Kathi Mumpower and Sande Campsen for getting this retreat all together and making it as wonderful.. I had the privilege to work along side Sande for the last couple of years in the women's ministry and with Kathi in the youth and I truly believe that God is calling me to work closer with the younger ladies of our church so this year I am teaching 10th-12th grade girls on Sunday morning and I have never taught like this before and with all my kids in school now and in everything else I need to be a mom and wife too and I want to grow closer with our Lord so I have given over the reins of working in the women's ministry to Kathi. I know that the women of AMRBC and other ladies will be truly bless with Kathi and Sande and I believe that they have so much more to offer than I can right now, so I want to say thank you to the both of them for making their first retreat together such a wonderful blessing to me... I can' t forget to thank also Julie, I am one of those people that I really do wish I could sing cause let me tell ya I can truly worship through music just as much through hearing God's word and Julie brings me to that place every time that it is true worship... So thank you Julie again for blessing me. We have some very talented young ladies in our youth that are wonderful singers an they to bless us with their voices that weekend... Also thank you to every lady that help plan or had a part of the retreat I know it could not have been made possible without you..AMRBC is truly bless with some wonderful ladies...

Girl's Night

8/29/08

The Friday night in August I was blessed with having a girls night out with some of my friends... We meet for supper at Red Lobster (love those cheese biscuit) and then instead of ordering dessert with them we walked over to Mable Slab and sat outside eating our ice-cream and sharing stories of kids, husbands and alot of laughter, we were there so long we closed the place down... It was a really great and fun night with my friends that I am truly blessed to have in my life....

Copper River

I wanted to share with my lunch experience at Copper River in Boling Springs today... I went with the group I work with and we were all excited about going and getting their wonderful salad... Well, the waitress came and I ask her could I get the Copper River salad w/out the ham and turkey but instead of grilled chicken and she said sure you can do that so that is what I order. Well when I got my check it was for you ready for this...... $18.40... yep I said it $18.40 for a grilled chicken salad and a water... Is that crazy or what????? So, I made a comment to the waitress you go the manager over there and here is how everything went down.....

Me- I have done this before and I have never been charge extra, only when I added to the smal salad and they told me they would.
Mgr- I don't think so, cause they could not come out of the kitchen w/out them charging you for it. You must be mistaken
Me- No, I am pretty sure this is not the first time I have order this but it is the first time I had to pay them this much.
Mgr- Let me go and check
Mgr comes back- well our policy is that if you add chicken to your salad then you are charge for it
co-worker- well, did you take off for the ham and turkey she didn't want
mgr- no we didn't the salad comes with it
me- well I told I could sub them out
mgr-no mam you can't (only time he was somewhat polite)
me- well you need to info the waitress that they need to let people know of extra charges cause if I had known I would not had gotten the chicken or maybe even the salad cause the chicken was not worth $5
mgr (here is where it gets good)... the owner is happy w/ the ticket
me- I bet he is happy w/ it, but I'm not so you have a great day

You know if I was quick witted I would have ask for my ham and turkey since I paid full price for them and then paid also for a piece of burnt tough chicken....

Then as we are leaving on of the girls ticket was $11.03 and she just left $11 they chase her out the door for 3 cents, I mean for 3 cents.... The tip was already inclueded in on the check take 3 cents out adn pay the check...

Is $4.98 that big of deal??? I mean when did we stop making the customer happy and become smartys to our customers? I work in retail alot and our motto was the customer was always right and make them happy... I mean there were 9 of us that saw and witness this whole thing, mine was not good but when they chase her down for 3 cents that went a little way beyond for me...

So, if you know of anywhere to get a great salad let us know cause our Copper River days might just be over, I know mine is...